Here’s how a writer gets in shape

Approximately three months ago, I got tired of feeling like a lazy slob.

It’s possible that comparatively speaking, I am not said lazy slob. But I’ve never been a big fan of comparatively speaking.

I was listening to the podcast Serial Dynasty (now Truth & Justice Podcast) at the time, which is a follow-up to the mega-sensation Serial. Anyway, it was sponsored by this guy Shaun T, and the host was talking about how his wife does Shaun T’s workout DVDs called Focus T25. And because sponsorship works, kids, I bought the DVDs.

P.S. This is not a sponsored post. I wish.

Now, as another side note, I have had bad knees for several years due to old sports injuries, so it’s hard for me to find a workout that I enjoy and can also do without being in extreme pain the next day. Fortunately, T25 worked for me. I am able to do it. And the workouts are just 25 minutes long, which means that I really have no excuse for not fitting them into my schedule.

So I’ve been doing them. I got into a great routine leading up to Christmas, and actually was enjoying exercising so much by that point that I actually took the DVDs with me to America, and I even did two workouts in the first three days, including one with my sister where she panted and cursed me (just kidding) for telling her it wasn’t too hard.

Let’s be real. It’s hard. The DVDs are done by the same guy who bestowed Insanity upon the world.

via GIPHY

So, feeling all powerful and like a super fitness woman capable of completing any task, I went to sleep with dreams of conquering my own body once and for all.

And then I woke up with the virus from Hades.

Folks, it was awful. Two solid weeks of being the sickest I’ve been in years, complete with coughing, sore throat, sinus ache, and just general ugh-ness. Needless to say, I didn’t work out once the whole rest of my trip. And yet I consumed monumental amounts of sugar.

So when I returned home to Australia in mid-January, I did the same thing many other people do around this time of year: I committed to getting back in shape, feeling as though I was two steps ahead of most people because I had been doing very well on the fitness level up until a few weeks before.

Ha. No.

This is not how working out works.

Apparently, while the love of exercise and the motivation to do it takes weeks to work up to, it takes only days to disappear. That first week of T25 after getting back from holidays was rough.

And yet I did it. Not every day, but at least four days a week since I’ve been back, I’ve done the T25 DVDs. I have moved my jiggly writer butt out of bed at ungodly hours of the morning to shake it like a Polaroid picture before then going to work to sit again all day.

It’s still hard. I haven’t yet gotten back to the point of loving it, but I don’t dread it as much as I did before.

Mind you, I’m only two and a half weeks back into it, so I might be singing a different tune in a month or two. Maybe by then I’ll be that chick who’s like, “No, sorry, I can’t eat that. It’ll just ruin my workout tomorrow” or be one of those sweet things in stretchy workout pants and push-up sports bra (but why though) who wakes refreshed at 5am every morning, ready to jump out of bed into her sneakers to seize the day with power squats.

So, to answer your burning question, here’s how a writer gets in shape: slowly and painfully. Just like everyone else.

*weak smile*

  • Oren James Teichmann

    Oh I feel for you. This is me three times a week when I put on my workout clothes and go and push myself back to the limit I was at last summer. When I’ve reached it again, that’s when I will feel happy as opposed to stressed 😛

    • Exactly! Why does it take so long to build up and go away so quickly? Argh.

      • Oren James Teichmann

        Is that rhetorical, or would you like a scientific answer to that? 😛

        • Well it *was* rhetorical, but I’m always up for scientific explanations.

          • Oren James Teichmann

            I shall let this lovely article from Livestrong.com explain:
            http://www.livestrong.com/article/383660-how-fast-do-you-lose-muscle-by-not-training/

            “In the most drastic scenario, you can lose up to 80 percent of your fitness level in as few as two weeks if you’re new to exercise.” – yikes!

            Remember the good old days in Kingston? 😛 missing a week or two of training and having that feeling like you’re going to die on the first warmup back…

          • I remember them! Fortunately, I didn’t miss a week or two very often…yikes! That sucks that you lose so much so quickly!

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